Jul 25 2020

Realize inadequacy

I ask him how he feels. "Yes, just indignant." I: "And where does that come from?" – "Because of the far too strict contact restrictions." I further ask: "And what do you think further?" – "I imagine our economy will not recover. I will become poor. That’s it."

Now he’s getting sad: "Everything that I have painstakingly built up for 15 years is going down the drain. I gave everything for my business, now I feel like I can’t anymore." I say: "That’s sad!" And that’s exactly the point: when he can be sad, he no longer holds onto what he thinks went wrong. That’s not what it’s about for him. By allowing his feeling of grief, a psychological processing process is set in motion. He calms down.

Out of this slowly emerging calm, he begins to relativize his pessimistic visions of the future, to break them down into individual aspects and to find out where there are other possibilities and also what can be new for him.

"Had there been no contact restrictions, more virus tests, a mask requirement in the past …" Would these or other alternatives have been better? But that is an inevitable past and it is definitely too late to worry about that. It did not and will not take place that way. "Would have"- Thoughts are pointless and trigger negative feelings that cost energy. Anyone who can say goodbye to such images, images, ideas as it could and should have gone, becomes calmer and more powerful.

Bleating hurts

We don’t need to be bummed, to know better, to be smart or to complain. That brings strife and is the breeding ground for a culture that denounces errors. When we see what happens to those who have to decide and then get in trouble from all sides, there is only one conclusion: making a decision and maybe making a mistake is not good.

However, we need exactly the opposite: a forgiving culture. Because you learn best from mistakes, and right now we are all learning a lot. The social climate in our environment will be better and we will keep a good mood in which we can create new developments.

What really moves them ?: Why people still believe in conspiracy myths Can we still ?: What is the 21-day habituation number all about? No ray of hope ?: Corona: Three steps to maintain the joy of life

Decide to the best of your knowledge and belief

At the moment, politicians are making decisions based on the latest information, which could lead to different conclusions in a month. We all don’t know for sure which is the right way to go. The decision-makers act to the best of their knowledge and belief, more is just not possible. Public deliberation, raising objections, asking questions and criticizing are naturally part of a democracy. But let’s leave the complaining and knowing better. It doesn’t fit what we’re up against here.

Ulrike Scheuermann is a qualified psychologist and bestselling author. For 25 years she has been helping people to take good care of themselves. Her self-care programs take place in her academy in Berlin.

Sources used: Ulrike Scheuermann

Some continue to adhere to the corona rules and support the government’s course, others find the partial shutdown disproportionate and protest against it. What helps in this situation?

The graduate psychologist Ulrike Scheuermann explains what the psychological background to the lost unity is – and what now helps us psychologically to develop further.

An important reason for the lost unity is that we are now realizing the consequences of the partial shutdown with full force and countering the benefits of the measures: "Is it worth it?" At the beginning you could still say – and I have also repeatedly emphasized here – that we have a time-limited exceptional situation: "We can hold out for a few weeks".mockingbird sample We had a common goal that seemed achievable: contain the spread of the virus – keyword "Flatten the curve".

Permanent instead of emergency – a fundamental difference

But now the weeks are turning into months, many are talking about the second wave in autumn, organizers are not planning again until 2022 – the state of emergency will probably become a permanent state. And that makes a difference in personal feeling like day and night.

The psychological effects of short-term contact restrictions can be survived quite well, in the longer term the lack of contact and reduced contact with other people have a dramatic effect on the psyche, as the first representative study in our neighboring country Austria shows. Among other things, depressive symptoms and anxiety states have increased fivefold. After two and a half months, I also increasingly notice how massive the contact restrictions are having an effect on my mood, although I am very well off – with a husband and a young son in peaceful harmony in one household.

The worldwide consequences are incredibly far-reaching

In addition, we are now increasingly realizing how far-reaching the consequences are for all areas of life worldwide. When I read the statement by Development Minister Gerd Müller and the UN Security Council on the impending hunger pandemic a few weeks ago, I fell into deep sadness and felt helpless. In Africa alone, 250 million people are starving, many of whom do not die from the virus but from the hunger that the virus creates.

Others react differently to the extent of the destruction, depending on their character and previous experiences: Many are now angry and demonstrate, others spread conspiracy theories in order to do at least something, to reduce the complexity of the situation and not to feel without influence.

We are entering a new phase in the development of the crisis

Another explanation for the disagreement is the new phase we have just entered within social development. Crises as well as all possible other processes run in phases: personal life crises, grief, team development, life courses. Every person, every group, everything living goes through these phases.

My ten years as a psychologist in the Berlin crisis service taught me that we have to go through the crisis phases as individuals and as a group – we cannot shorten: shock – denial – realize – adapt – integrate. I think we’re at right now "negation" and "Realize". These phases in particular are associated with strong feelings: anger, anger, fear, sorrow, hope, depression, resignation, despair and grief. The thoughts and feelings only gradually rearrange themselves.

No more consistent line

Agreement is made even more difficult: there is no longer a uniform line, not even the experts agree. Everyone does it differently: the countries of the world, the federal states, the neighbors. The more diversity, the less motivation and the less opportunities to stand together. Sure you look at the neighbor: "He doesn’t stick to it, why should I bother then?"

We can do that:

Be lenient with others and with yourself by seeing what is happening in the larger context of a crisis. We are still in the middle of it and it also attacks us psychologically more than we could have suspected at first. A look at the major virus pandemics of the last 100 years can help. Don’t just stick to your position, put yourself in the shoes of others with perhaps completely different fears of infection, security and distance needs than you do. Wearing the masks conveys, that you show consideration and respect for others and should not be misused as an opportunity to express your opinion. Put yourself in the shoes of politicians, so as not to be based on your own, often more limited perspective "to hit it". I often hear the sentence "I don’t want to be a politician right now". Decision-makers have an extremely tough job right now. Experts research and recommend – politicians, on the other hand, currently have to consider an unbelievable number of perspectives and arguments and make decisions on this basis – while the state of knowledge remains uncertain. Not just in the context of your own country, but worldwide. That is hard.

Realize inadequacy

I think we can also ask ourselves very comprehensive questions: For example, the corona pandemic is essentially about death and dying. To deal well with the crisis, we must also realize that we will never conquer death, even with the best medical resources and a global strategy against the spread of the virus. People will always die. We remain vulnerable and fallible as people and as a society. Against diseases, epidemics and pandemics, economic lows and the effects of climate and environmental damage.

We are not at war with the virus and we will not win. After this virus, a new one will come at some point. We can realize that and then make the best possible decisions without any notions of omnipotence.

When dealing with Corona: Knowing better does not help, but harms depression, sleep disorders, fears: This is how Corona affects our psyche Second wave in Germany: Symptoms, transmission and course

Sources used: Man against virus: The history of the virus pandemics of the last 100 yearsDonau University KremsUlrike ScheuermannAdditional sourcesShow less sources

It is paradoxical: people demonstrate against the restrictions in connection with the pandemic – and by non-compliance with the protective rules encourage the effects of the pandemic to stay with us for longer.

Whether at a demonstration or a family celebration, on vacation or at the airport: The reasons for the rule violations are complex.

The psychological motivations

Anyone who knows why something is happening can react more confidently and calmly to it, in this case to the people who do not obey the rules. On the other hand, it also helps if we become careless even in an everyday situation due to unreflected emotions. Who hasn’t forgotten their mask and had to go back before going shopping?

One reason lies in our deeply rooted responses to stress.

The age-old reaction "Fight or flight"

Corona is pure stress. Our future is uncertain due to the pandemic. We see or feel the effects in our lives: Economic livelihoods are ruined. An economic downturn threatens. The health risks are stronger and more long-term than expected. We consider this a great danger – both physical and psychological "Fight-or-flight response" triggers.

Stone Age Man – Saber Toothed Tiger – Fight or Flight. Anger, anger, fear and anger are associated with the fight-or-flight response, and this leads to short-circuit actions without rational prudence. This stress response program with an adrenaline rush has saved our lives in acute dangerous situations for millions of years. If there is a danger, the heartbeat becomes faster, the muscle strength and the breathing rate increase. The entire metabolism is activated and provides everything that is needed for fight or flight as a way of ensuring survival.

Fight against substitute objects

This deeply rooted reaction is currently playing against us. Because you can’t escape the virus. It is there. You can’t fight it directly either, you can’t see, hear, smell, feel or taste it. The feeling of threat becomes stronger, one looks for substitute objects against which one can fight. For many, fighting is easier than dealing productively with such strong emotions – see below – which also includes enduring the helplessness that there is not much you can do at the moment. Replacement objects are optionally the Chinese, politicians, police, mask wearers, conspirators with bad intentions.

There is another motivation:

Aversion to rules that apply to us "from above" be pushed on

You don’t like to stick to such rules. We live in a country with far-reaching opportunities to live our freedom and not have to follow the doctrines of those in power as in a dictatorship. We have lived very well so far. Now comes the fear that it might be lost. This "Pressed on from above"- Feeling has special roots: The experiences with a dictatorial regime are still in our bones, both during the GDR and the Nazi regime, even if hardly any of us have experienced the Nazi dictatorship.

We grew up with the high value that we can, may and should question authorities and their guidelines.

What to do with strong emotions

At the moment we have to deal with strong emotions over and over again.

Esteticapedia

Realize inadequacy

Realize inadequacy

Realize inadequacy

Bleating hurts

Decide to the best of your knowledge and belief

Permanent instead of emergency – a fundamental difference

The worldwide consequences are incredibly far-reaching

We are entering a new phase in the development of the crisis

No more consistent line

Realize inadequacy

The psychological motivations

The age-old reaction "Fight or flight"

Fight against substitute objects

Aversion to rules that apply to us "from above" be pushed on

What to do with strong emotions

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